According to evolutionary anthropologists, humans are a tribal species. We evolved a sense of "our group" and "not our group" as a means of more effective survival. Assuming that an "other" might decrease my chance of survival makes good sense in the tightly-knit, highly competitive world of pre-historic humans.
Fast-forward 10,000 years. Advances in agriculture and technology let us have massive "tribes" -- millions of people in the "us" group and billions in the various "thems." Our notions of "us" and "them" remain, but is no longer applied to just our local troop of 50-100 others. We now call this tendency by various names which usually end in "-ism" and have negative connotations: racism, sectarianism, xenophobism, and the like.
It probably took hundred of thousands of years to evolve the tribal tendency -- maybe millions. It is present in all of us, and is our default way of thinking. This trait doesn't go away just because Martin Luther King had a dream and many of us are fortunate to see a lot of it realized. No matter how enlightened we may think we are, we are all racists, xenophobes, and secterianists. There isn't a damn thing you can do about it -- it is just "how we are."
Except that we understand the problem a bit more. For the first time in human history, we have a reasonable (though not perfect) understanding of how we got to be who we are. We have decent ideas of evolution and human behavior and a fair amount of data supporting this explanation. Human brains have not changed much in 10,000 years, but human thinking, society, and morality have.
We know from studying primates and other sources that we humans are not perfectly monogamous. But we also know from living in the 21st century that the way we have chosen to structure our families and our societies strongly favors monogamy. We choose to stay monogamous even though that's not purely in our nature, because we can think and project and understand the consequences of our actions. Not always of course, and not perfectly, but in general. We know it is something we have to constantly work on, and most of us do.
Same deal for fatty, high-caloric foods: we have evolved to seek them out and our bodies to store the energy. Back in the day that kept us alive; today it just makes us porkers. There are entire multi-billion dollar industries built up around the realization that with effort we can overcome our evolved tendencies and stay fit.
So why have we not come to this same general understanding with the concept of "other?" We will have racist, stereotyped, and xenophobic thoughts. That's just the way we are. But we don't have to give them voice, act on them, or pass along a culture that supports their free expression. Like the twelve step plans say -- first we have to admit to the problem. Only then can we vigorously and systematically work on bettering ourselves. Our evolved structure can not be an excuse for our actions. Instead it should be the foundation on which lies our ultimate transcendence.
I'm sure succeeding despite ourselves is easier for some and harder for others. Some of us might find it trivial to stay blissfully monogamous or tortuous to avoid the second grande burrito. For most folks, I suspect that really, truly not being racist or xenophobe takes work, and is a lifelong commitment.
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